Thursday, December 31, 2009

10 Predictions for 2010

I know everything. All of the following WILL happen this year. If you want it, it will come.

1) Bob Rae will walk on water
2) Ujjal Dosangh will be knighted by the Queen
3) Hugo Chavez will win the Nobel Peace Prize
4) Iran will conquer Iraq
5) Karl Marx will rise from the dead to take his rightful place at the throne of the UN
6) Al Gore will land on the moon without the assistance of a space craft
7) Evan Soloman will win a Pulitzer
8) Michael Moore will figure out how to turn water into wine
9) Obama will transform Earth into Heaven
10) I will mate with Nancy Pelosi, fingers crossed


  1. When mating with Nancy Pelosi, just be careful you don't break her fragile granny bones.

  2. Sadly, you're probably right about Chavez getting the Nobel Peace Prize. Why not? Arafat got it for blowing up buses and cafes. Gore got it for making a movie out of a powerpoint presentation. And Obama got it for doing 2 weeks of nothing. (Un)fortunately, the prize has diminished in prestige these last few years.