Saturday, December 19, 2009

Saving the Planet, one abortion at a time

Given David Suzuki's marching orders that we dramatically reduce the world's population in order to diffuse the population bomb and save lives; I have been trying to think of new ways to reduce population. There was my "half a child" policy, my idea of outlawing seat belts, adopting one of Mao's 5 year plans, emulating Pol Pot, etc. My latest idea is on the issue of abortion. Not only should we encourage as many of them as possible, we need to extend to parents the right to abort their children up to age 30. If you have a 19 year old son who does well in school and you are concerned that he might grow up to be a capitalist pig, pull the plug.

I can't believe that this right has not already been issued to parents. If they can terminate a fetus during pregnancy, why stop there? Honestly, how many mothers considered an abortion during a pregnancy only to have the child, watch him or her grow up to be a capitalist pig, and regret not terminating the life when the option was on the table? We want to crush successful people and smart people are more likely to be successful on average, therefore parents with young smart children should consider making the compassionate choice to help save the planet. I do not encourage anyone to follow my policy idea until we are able to get the "Abort 30 below" legislation through the House of Commons and into law. Anxious parents will have to wait until we can get Elizabeth May into the legislature.

Since I am 30 years old, I have immunity from the new policy. Did you hear that mom? That rent cheque will have to wait for the revolution...


  1. I bet Mugabe's mom is as pissed as yours.


  2. Marxy, I agree completely with basically everything you say - additionally, I believe in the half a child policy as well as the post partum abortion policy...

    I am quitting my job as of tomorrow - no capitalist pigs will be getting me to work, even if they pay me well. I do not want to pay the government 1 red cent - they can pay me to sit in front of my computer all day long, saving one soul at a time from the evil that is capitalism.

    Long live hardworking Marxists!