Monday, December 28, 2009

All I want for Christmas is Heaven on Earth

Listen people, all I want for Christmas, other than free rent, is to end poverty and bring Heaven to Earth. Poverty leads to crime, and therefor my war on success has the most noble of intentions. We must put limits on achievement, and reward failure if we are to make this planet perfect. Having no money creates crime. Then again, having money corrupts and leads to crime. Yikes, I have contradicted myself. Having no money leads to crime, and having money leads to crime, therefor we must find a healthy equilibrium between success and poverty. $30,000 a year sound about right? Nobody should be allowed to make more than that, and every man woman and child should be guaranteed at least that. Enough money that they need not resort to crime, but not so much money that they are corrupted into criminality.

That's what I want for Christmas.


  1. So we're all upper lower class?

    Sounds like fun.


  2. Get a job you nut.

  3. Oh MAM, you never cease to amaze me with your enlightened commentary! Take me under your wing and teach me your ways!

  4. Nut? As the wise philosopher PeeWee Herman once said "I know you are, but what am I?"

    and BOOM goes the dynamite!

  5. 100% of respondents agree with me. My mom is not allowed to charge me rent on the basement.

    It is done. Decided.

  6. Move to Venezuela it is a socialist paradise here on earth..... now! I'm sure Chavez would give you free rent in any prison of his choice.