Monday, December 21, 2009

I want to steal Christmas

I always loved the movie the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. He hates Hooville, and he rightfully hates a consumer holiday that bleeds money from the poor for the betterment of businesses run by greedy capitalists. Christmas is to evil economics what steroids are to Major League Baseball. By stealing Christmas, he was saving the Hoos from their own capitalist destruction. The Grinch was saving lives, making decisions for people unable to think for themselves. Then he got cold feet and turned around? That coward! What he was doing was righteous, then in a moment of weakness he was corrupted be the evils of material desire and returned to Hooville to murder polar bears.

I am not encouraging people to break and enter, and I do not condone breaking the law. I condone electing Messiah's like Bob Rae to change the laws. I expect Bob Rae would make it legal to steal Christmas, if leading a majority government. What I need to encourage people to do this week is to make big signs that say "STOP SHOPPING, YOU ARE MURDERING POLAR BEARS!!!" with a picture of a dead polar bear; and go down to your local shopping center to spread the message of the revolution. Only then will heaven be a place on earth!

And remember, anytime someone tells you Merry Christmas this season, what they are really saying is that they want to destroy the planet and murder baby polar bears.


  1. Marx- I am making a big sign saying "STOP EATING. IT IS AN ADDICTION" and I will go stand outside grocery stores.
    I saw on TV that a new study says eating is an addiction. Now all our fat brothers and our fat sisters can get help for their addiction from Health Canada. We have to stop people celebrating Christmas because it just makes people more fat, just like that fat santa claus.
    Are you fat too Marx ?