Al Gore for President of the United Nations

Look, the time to act on this Climate Crisis was three days before the day after tomorrow, meaning yesterday. It is too late for debate, we must save the planet and do it now. This is about more than just saving the bourgeois elitists from an ice age in the Northern Hemisphere, this is about redistributing wealth to the poor countries of the world. This is imperative! We can end hunger, end crime, end war, by stealing from the rich to give to the poor. We must suppress success and reward failure immediately years ago. I applaud the scientists for cooking the books, because they were doing what needed to be done to advance our agenda. Capitalism is evil, and they say that evil prevail when good Socialists fail to act.

We must take action. We must make Al Gore President of the World with complete totalitarian authority over everything and everyone.

Heaven is a place on Earth!

While the barista tip jar at the coffee hut has been a little lighter since the fall of capitalism, it remains my dream to live in the utopia of either Cuba or Venezuela. Where people with an opposing opinion are not allowed to speak publicly, where the government controls our lives, private enterprise is not allowed to exist, and failure is rewarded to spite success. It is a perfect world for me, where I don't have to work hard, and can piggy-back on the labours of others. I have grown weary of greedy capitalist pigs having an opinion and working hard to earn a better life. If government runs all business, then these people can't do business, and we can encourage them all to leave the country. Utopia can only exist when the hard working enterprising people have left the building.

I look forward to the day when I can afford to buy a plane ticket to Havana, because heaven is indeed a place on Earth.

All POWs Must be Freed

The leader of the Free World Obama has set the precedent that enemy combatants captured on the field of battle should be put on trial in Western civilian courts and afforded all the same rights and privileges of civilians presumed to be innocent. I agree completely, and all this jurisprudence should be retroactive to the moment of capture. Did the soldier have just cause to be in that war zone? Did he read the combatant his rights? Did they halt combat operations to do a proper criminal investigation? Was the capturing soldier himself a war criminal? Did the military incur the cost of putting Johnny Cochrane in a jet plane and fly him to the theatre for immediate and adequate legal representation?

Questions that we Liberals are entitled to know the answer to, but I doubt were ever considered! Therefore, none of the combatants in captivity were extended the legal rights that they deserve and all should be released. It would have been optimal had the Liberal Party carried out proper justice when they began the heavy mission in Kandahar, but nobody is perfect. Best stick our failures on the evil Capitalist Party who seeks to enslave the 3rd world. It is awesome how we are able to successfully blame the Tories for our own mistakes, and we must maintain the pressure. If I believed in Satan, he would be Stephen Harper. We must unite to defeat them. Now is not the time for internal strife.

Free all POWs!

Christmas must be Defeated!

We must end this bourgeois practice of Christmas once and for all. It is nothing more than a tool by capitalist pigs to force poor people to spend money they don't have in order to fulfill some imaginary religious purpose. What do we get as a result? Consumers consume more, forcing factories to increase production, which dramatically increases pollution, which is going to contribute to a catastrophic climate shift in the next 20 years or less. We must stop Christmas effective immediately. Please, nobody go shopping. Save your money, save the planet, and donate everything you have to the Liberal Party of Canada. They are our only hope!

When somebody wishes you a Merry Christmas this holiday season, what they are really trying to say is please destroy the Planet and murder us all. If a capitalist pig wishes you a Merry Christmas, tell them to fuck off. Let's save the planet, by eliminating frivolous consumer holidays.

Why we need CUPE

I am an ardent supporter of the Canadian Union of Public Employees. They are necessary if we are to have a strong, centralized government. Our bureaucracy needs a strong backbone, and that is represented and protected by CUPE. I just wish that they would let Sid Ryan get more involved in politics, and remove his muzzle and allow him to speak his mind. I would almost go so far as to endorse him for Minister of Foreign Affairs in a Rae Administration. Anybody is better than Lawrence Cannon, right?

CUPE is more than just a conglomerate of Progressive minds, they are the tool that can be used to absorb the rest of the civil service into this critical voting block. We need all the support we can accrue if we are to build our Grand Coalition of left wing parties. I want more blocks of workers to join the CUPE family. Secret ballots are just a capitalist tool for suppressing honest worker's movements. We need to know who is voting yes and who is voting no so that we can convince them to vote yes.

By administering services that the regular citizenry cannot live without, we have a unique bargaining power that other unions do not. Therefor, the bigger our tent, the more leverage we have over tax payers. We can acquire a greater share of tax revenue by using our bargaining power and forcing the people to force their politicians to give us what we want.

I support CUPE, and I support Bob Rae for Prime Minister.

Monetizing a Blog

I hope that you don't think because I have monetized my blog that I am being corrupted by the bourgeois elite who assert dominance over us all. Honestly, my mom has been bugging me to pay rent for my basement suite, and that woman is getting on my nerves. Until socialist utopia is in place in our society and economy, this enlightened manifesto has to somehow pay the bills of capitalism. I am so sorry.

Why I Love Obama

If I believed in God, I might be inclined to think that Barack Obama is his son on Earth. Sure he had to tell a few white lies to win the election, but his winning was far more important than campaign rhetoric. He, with the help of the divine Nancy Pelosi are doing what needs to be done. The crime rates in the United States can be solely explained by income inequality, and the Democratic Party is ensuring that the darkness of free market capitalism is crushed forever. The dream of a peaceful planet without war is near at hand, and Obama is the man to do it.

Since the Democratic Party will not be running a primary process, loyal Liberals must do everything in their power to ensure that the Republicans choose Sarah Palin. We know Independents would rather have Obama than Palin, and given that she ain't the brightest pea in the pod, her selection would guarantee Obama's re-election.

Let's make this happen!