Anarchy: A Love Story

I have spent most of my adult life following the divine prophecies of Michael Moore in his pursuit for a Marxist utopia. But watching the Canadian Anarchy League smash windows in downtown Vancouver, suddenly I am interested in the anarchist way of life. I want to be free of the oppressive police who defy social justice by arresting honest, hard working criminals. I would like the freedom to freely smash windows. I like smashing things. But as a wise man I know that I am not going to be able to transform Canada into a Marxist-Anarchist land of milk and cookies. Therefore I have decided to move to Mogadishu. Real estate prices are phenomenal, all you need to make your mortgage payments is an AK47.

Watching the violent disobedience on TV today made me yearn for anarchy. I am considering changing my name to Anarchist-A-Million.

Stephen Harper Conquers British Columbia!

All you Canadians will be shocked and disturbed to know that Stephen Harper has subjugated our provincial democracy by conquering our legislature in a bloodless coup! I watched in horror today as Satan addressed our legislature after conquering from within and without, with no remorse for the destruction of democracy that his path of carnage reeks on the province. I don't know what else to say, like PeeWee Herman busted at a porno theatre. Prime Ministers should not be allowed to address provincial legislatures, because doing so erodes democracy and destroys the public trust in our federal government. Why hasn't the mainstream media covered the overthrow of our sovereignty? It doesn't make any sense. If this is truly the first time a Prime Minister has addressed our legislature, that should be a canary on the coal mine indicator that Harper is truly Emporor Palpatine.

Abortion

I have long been an advocate for Liberalized abortion. Not only should abortion be legal up to and including birth, parents should retain the right to terminate their children up to 30 years after birth. If your child is 17 years old and you think that they might become a capitalist, it is time for a mulligan. Basically there are way too many people on this planet, and we need to start knocking more people off our island. By my calculations, this planet can comfortably hold a billion people. That means that over 5 billion have to go, or people will die. We need to start taking lives in order to save lives, and abortion is as great a vehicle as any to start the process.